The F*&% is Self Care Anyway?

I’ve been without internet for a few days because someone clipped a wrong line somewhere in the neighborhood while doing construction. Because of this… I have had to get a little creative since I didn’t have my precious Netflix. I ended up watching some DVDs of my favorite movies and remembered why I loved them so much. I sort of reverted to things I used to do without consistent binging on TV shows. I tried new art supplies. I called my mom. I made myself lunch. I sketched. I hung out with friends. I went to a gymnastics meet at the University. (My Alma Mater vs. my mother’s Alma Mater. We won!) I even did laundry at a leisurely pace. It was only for a weekend but I felt so much more relaxed when I slipped back into my work week.

It really made me consider the term “Self Love” and it being the Month of Love and all… I thought I’d share my two cents.

...How does her leg even bend like that? Giiiirl, I am not this flexible!

First and foremost, I am not one of those people that does the scented baths with the candles, the wine, chocolates, and a book. (I don’t know why I get that image in my head when I think of “Self Love” but I do… so just humor me). For one, I will accidentally knock the wine glass over. For two, I will fumble to grab it and drop my book. Soggy book = Unhappy. Three, I’ll end up cleaning the whole mess while I’m bitter and angry and the “relaxing bath” will have been for nothing.

So what in the world is “Self Care” if it isn’t a relaxing bath or whatever?

It is whatever I need it to be. And I am not good at it. I think it’s something that takes years of slowly learning what you like and what really recharges your soul. And honestly, I happened to just do it on accident this last weekend. I seriously struggle with the idea of caring for myself! I feel STRESSED OUT trying to plan out how I’m going to pamper myself. Because everything needs to be planned out to the smallest detail and be perfect. (No. No it doesn’t. But I never remember that because I’m too detail oriented… dang it).

SO… here’s the deal. I realized for me the idea of Self Care is just allowing things to just be as they are and to flow with it. It wasn’t some big spa trip. It wasn’t buying myself some present. It's not even eating my favorite dessert. It was me, enjoying the moment as it was. No internet. No blogging. No researching. No overwhelming urge to scroll Pinterest for hours. I got up, got outside, and I did whatever I felt like doing. I didn't even feel guilty for rolling myself up in a happy little sushi roll with my blanket and taking a nap even though I didn't need one. I just wanted to.

Self Care is a slow process and there is no perfect way to do it in my opinion. It isn’t even a perfect solution to a problem. It isn't even always the same thing all the time! Maybe it switches from doing yoga, going on a walk, drinking tea, playing a violent video game, taking it out on a punch bag, nap time, eating a cookie, burning old stuff, cleaning, going to a museum, playing with your pet, making a painting for fun, going on a drive, putting lotion on your hands, planting a flower, doing absolutely nothing, I don't know! Anything. (And I have done ALL those things plus some). It is just a moment to gather yourself up without stress so you can carry on with your life. No can do for you, sorry. It's 100% your own personal idea of Loving Yourself. <3